What to Expect When Your Child Meets the Child Representative or Guardian ad Litem?
In some cases, Mom has an attorney, Dad has an attorney, but the most important person should also have an attorney - your child. This may be overwhelming or scary for the parents or the child, but I want to demystify what to expect and how to best prepare. To learn more about the differences between a child representative and Guardian ad Litem, click here.
How to tell your children that they are going to meet with “their lawyer”
Child Representatives and Guardian ad Litem always wants the child to be honest during their meetings and to feel comfortable. How you discuss that initial meeting with your child will vary greatly based on their age. For younger children, informing your child that they are going to meet with a nice person to talk about what is happening with mom and dad and that this person is there for them, is an appropriate way to open this conversation. Make sure your child understands that you will not ask them anything about what is talked about during the meeting and it’s their safe place. Also with younger children, you can reference that the children will be playing and chatting. At our office, we have coloring, play dough, blocks, and other toys that we engage with while conversing. As children get older, they are likely more aware of the conflict and the conversations are a bit more specific as to who the person is they are going to meet. Oftentimes, children are relieved to have someone that they feel is their “voice.” Those children typically have plenty to say at that initial meeting.
A CR or GAL may often ask the child, “What their parent(s) told them before this meeting,” or “What did your parent tell you to tell me.” Remember, children are typically candidly forthcoming, and so the best answer for the CR or GAL is to hear is simply “They told me to be honest,” and to not hear any specifics about how great a parent is or how terrible the other may be.
A typical meeting with a CR or GAL: When Erin meets with a client (the child) as a GAL or CR, the child usually arrives and Erin welcomes them warmly into a big conference room filled with toys or coloring books (depending on the age). The child is offered juice, water, hot chocolate, or snacks and then settles in for a casual conversation with Erin about their life, wishes, likes and dislikes. The meeting usually lasts under an hour, but for the most part, the child is happy and asks when they can come back to the office. Erin will always offer her cell phone number (again depending on if it is appropriate based on age) to the child and lets them know that they can reach out whenever they need to. Children have often called Erin on her cell phone during evening and weekend times and those calls are always answered or immediately returned. There may be follow up meetings or calls, based upon the specific case.
What parents should expect & how to prepare
For each parents’ initial interview, they should bring documents or written notes that they have prepared to discuss with the CR and GAL to make the best use of their meeting time. If the CR/GAL sends an initial questionnaire, which we always do, please have that completed in advance. If possible, send that with any other paperwork so the meeting time will be most productive. Also, it is not necessarily important as to which parent brings the child to meet with the CR or GAL. That should not be a source of conflict; rather facilitate the meting based upon everyone’s availability.
Who the CR/GAL may want to speak with
It is quite possible that your child’s CR or GAL may want to speak with some collateral contacts. Collateral contacts are people who know the children well, in either a professional or personal capacity. For example, a GAL or CR may want to speak with your child’s therapist and request that a release be signed, or the school teachers or principal. In other instances, family members such as a grandparent, new spouse or significant other will be helpful in the investigation, either because they have been actively involved in the family’s life or there are concerns to check into. It is best to encourage those third parties to cooperate.
This is a brief summary of what to expect with a CR or GAL. Erin has experience being appointed as a CR or GAL, in all types of cases ranging from divorce to parentage, with all ages and backgrounds. Erin strives to ensure your child is adequately represented to the court and that their best interests are portrayed in all matters. Court proceedings in domestic relations can be difficult for your child, Erin will be there for them so the process is not as hard, as well as make all efforts to help the parties reach an amicable resolution without further litigation. If you are involved in a case that would benefit from a CR or GAL, please keep The Law Office of Erin M. Wilson LLC in mind.
NOTICE: This blog is intended solely for informational purposes and should not be construed as providing legal advice. Please feel free to contact us with any questions you may have regarding this blog post.