Child Custody Tips: How to Share Children through the Holidays

The holidays should be a time of peace and family, but for some families going through a divorce or already separated, it can be difficult to think about not having your children for all holidays. We want to give some pointers on how to share time with your children through the holiday season, but also how to enjoy the time without them.

1. Plan ahead and coordinate with your co-parent

Planning your children’s schedules to be as consistent as possible for them can best benefit you and your family. We know this time may be especially difficult for you but if schedules are coordinated through calendar apps or other methods, the holidays will run smoothly. Ensure that you know exactly when and where pick up and drop off times are planned to occur, as they may vary during holidays, and make every possible effort to adhere to those times. This rings especially true if you are the parent who has parenting time during the holiday. Keep in mind that your co-parent does not have the children during this time by being understanding and try to keep the routine. If you have an Allocation Judgment or Parenting Plan, at least the schedule is planned for you. However, if there are any changes you would like to make to the holiday schedule, be sure to express this explicitly to your co-parent well in advance. Further, for holidays involving presents for children you may also coordinate splitting the children’s wish lists or what they need. Addressing COVID concerns, ensure that all travel and other trips are coordinated so that the children are staying safe and adhering to Illinois regulations. It is possible to enjoy your holidays this year. Our firm understands that communications at this time is key and while it may be strenuous, it can best help easing into the holiday season without any hiccups. 

2. Do something you love

For a lot of families, both parents do not get parenting time with their children for every single holiday. While this can be disheartening and lonely, there are a few ways that can alleviate this difficult time. First, try and do something for yourself that you could not normally do with your children on this holiday. This can be anything from having a glass of wine with your friends or other family members (even remotely via Zoom) or simply reading a book you have been meaning to get to. You should also set aside some time to have some quality time with yourself, however you may define that. It’s important to remember that you can enjoy the holidays as well, with or without your children. Keep in mind that your children are still spending their holiday somewhere where they are loved to keep yourself at ease. Lastly, you can also try to create new traditions that can become your new normal. 

3. Keep your children in mind

We know this is an especially strenuous and difficult time for you however, remember that your children’s lives are also in the picture. If you have a difficult relationship with your co-parent, children can sense that. Try your best to keep the peace and be civil during this time so that the children can enjoy the holidays. As stated, prior planning and scheduling can help this process along so that the children have a smooth transition throughout the holidays and so no issues may arise during this time. Remember the joys of the holidays that you would have as a child and try to instill this with your children, regardless of what is happening with you and your co-parent.

4. Compromise if needed

Sometimes it’s not only about what you want. Compromise is key if there are any issues during this time. You want to make sure that the children and yourself can enjoy the holiday. While we are amidst the COVID pandemic, compromise is even more important than previous years. We are all dealing with the pandemic, but keeping everyone’s interests in mind during this time can ensure a lovely holiday season. If you follow the above tips, your holidays can run smoothly and with joy. 

The Law Office of Erin M. Wilson LLC is here to ensure your holidays are merry and bright.

NOTICE: This blog is intended solely for informational purposes and should not be construed as providing legal advice. Please feel free to contact us with any questions you may have regarding this blog post.