Co-Parenting Through the Holidays

The holidays should be a time of peace and joy, but for some families going through a divorce or already separated, it can be difficult to think about not having your children for all holidays. We want to give some pointers on how to share time with your children through the holiday season, but also how to enjoy the time without them.

1. Plan ahead & communicate

Advanced planning will be the most important task for parents. Both parents need to consider how to set the tone for the holiday season, and make a concerted effort on getting a game plan early before the holidays creep up. Parents should first revisit the court ordered or agreed-upon schedule, or if there is not a schedule, then parents need to make one in writing. Second, they should consider upcoming holiday events, such as pageants, plays, festivals, family events, office parties etc. and mark the calendar accordingly. Third, parents should plan and coordinate drop-offs, pick-ups, and other transportation for the children ahead of time to make transitions and travel smooth. Further, some families find that keeping household routines the same (to the extent possible), such as regular sleep schedules and meal times, can also help reduce stress on their family.

2. Keep old traditions and think about starting new ones

During and after divorce, some religious and non-religious traditions that were present before the divorce may change. It is important to have an open conversation with children about which traditions are important to them and you, and how to best transition those traditions to a new phase.  If you and the other parent are of different religious or cultural backgrounds, make arrangements to make each’s traditions a standard part of the parenting plan. Remember, you do not have to follow or conform to preconceived or widely-known holiday traditions -- be creative and open to starting new traditions within your family.

3. Be positive (even if it means faking it)

Stress can be a natural occurrence for parents, especially around the busy holiday season. It is important for kids emotionally, however, to see that the parents care about the children and enjoy time with them. Being positive can also provide a sense of stability for the children through the busy time, and what could be a difficult holiday season for the children as well. Do your best to enjoy the time you do have together with your children, even in the small moments, such as reading a book together or having a family meal.

4. Spend time together

Not all parents are ready or able to spend time together with their children. However, to the degree that parents are able to, the children will reap emotional benefits, and the time together creates less travel and back and forth for the children. That being said, parents should put serious thought into whether they can handle spending such time together. Being together works best in groups of people, and therefore does not subject divorcées to awkward or forced one-on-one interactions. Parents should set a limited time frame however, to keep children from getting an idea that you will be reuniting.

Consider the tips above to help you successfully navigate the holiday season with your families.

At The Law Office of Erin M. Wilson LLC, we work with our clients on an individualized basis, to determine what process will best fit the needs of your family, and counsel you to obtain the best outcome. Some of the issues to consider include whether you should attempt to retain your marital home, the allocation of various assets and debts, how to divide retirement accounts, how to value the assets, and which are marital and non-marital. We are also happy to work with your financial advisors so you feel most comfortable with an amicable resolution or preparing for contested litigation pursuing all of your rights and protecting your interests.

Please contact The Law Office of Erin M. Wilson LLC for a consultation regarding your divorce or call 312-767-4220.

NOTICE: This blog is intended solely for informational purposes and should not be construed as providing legal advice. Please feel free to contact us with any questions you may have regarding this blog post.